I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
