Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
