hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
