who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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