If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
