so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
