can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
