Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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