Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize