It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
