3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
