I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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