hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
