please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
