does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
