its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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