apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
