You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
