the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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