dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
