so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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