not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im holly from the hills drunk
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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