oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
