I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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