just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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