so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
soo... how was my night?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
