he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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