using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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