Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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