..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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