HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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