they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
