I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
