I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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