WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
