Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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