I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
