is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
