i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hippo gnu deer
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
