can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
