You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize