he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
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I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
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I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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