Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
