We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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