She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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