You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
