Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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