counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
