You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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