I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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