I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize