Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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