I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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