he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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