the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
